Thursday, April 26, 2007

being under bella emberg

i went to the cinema on tuesday to watch ‘häxan – witchcraft through the ages’ - a danish black & white silent film made in 1922 which was, on it’s release, immediately banned. Accompanying the eerie images was geoff smith, who had composed an original soundtrack on the hammered dulcimer which he proceeded to perform flawlessly alongside the film.

bear with me.

i’d never heard of a dulcimer, hammered or otherwise, and was mildly surprised to discover it’s appearance is that of a horizontal harp, the strings of which are hit with small hammers, instead of being plucked. the resulting sound is a malefic resonance which, combined with the images of satan floating around on screen genuinely put the frighteners on me.
however, there is something intrinsically funny about silent movies, and a proportion of the audience were laughing when, for instance, the camera panned to a shuddering shot of the devil seemingly masturbating furiously. i practically scalded myself with hot coffee when a monk hoved into view who looked identical to david st hubbins from spinal tap…and i defy anyone to sit beyond the subtitle ‘satan penetrated every nun in the convent’ without a ribald laugh.
however the girl next to me (trendy haircut, oversized glasses) was huffing and puffing with indignation each time the audience was provoked into muffled sniggering, at one point turning to her boyfriend and saying ‘for god’s sake, this is an ARTHOUSE film.’ (it wasn’t). her boyfriend incidentally looked as though he’d rather by anywhere –anywhere else – on the playstation, in the pub, under bella emberg - anywhere. the worse she got, (“i really don’t see what’s so funny about this”) the more juvenile i became…
…with this in mind, imagine my unfathomable glee when i spotted the above sign in the hippy shop in kemptown – this is, i swear, is a very real request, so should anyone know an unemployed warlock, send them here. genius.

No comments: