Wednesday, June 13, 2007

failing not to kill people

two things. alright three, if you count my birthday on saturday when i will be thirty (count ‘em) years old.
the other two things; i’ve just been reminded of the tee-shirt sean wears in the 1980’s film monster squad' which, essentially, is the goonies with added comic book monsters.
it is red with yellow lettering on it and it reads;
‘stephen king rules.’
oh yes. if anyone knows where i can locate one of these puppies please let me know.
thirdly, the last story my friend the marvellous sweetman read of mine (‘lady de mort did not believe in ghosts’) he had finished and had said, very sweetly, as is his nature,
“i’m looking forward to reading a story you write which doesn’t involve death, ghosts, pirates, highwaymen, monsters, vampires or werewolves.”
then he had gone to the bar. i’d thought about this, and had asked him what he meant on his return.
“just be interested to see what you were capable of if you wrote something…grown up.”

“grown up?”
“yeah.”
“you don’t think i’m grown up ?”

“not you. just your subject matter. i like it daisy, i’m just interested to see you with something a bit heavier.”
i think sweetman may have seen the twitch beneath my right eye at the point because he’d rapidly changed the subject and bought me a pint.
so last night, with this in mind i sat down to write a short story without the subject matter of a scooby doo cartoon. it is, i feel i have proven to myself seven pages later, not possible. it started off well, i liked the characters, they seemed to slip into their roles easily, nice and loose like clown’s trousers.
suddenly, with no prior warning i felt an inexplicable urge to imbibe them with terror and kill them off in terrible ways.
this is scary…it was meant to be a nice story about two brothers.
i don’t know where i get it from but monster squad and the goonies must surely take some blame.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

did you try putting "stephen king rules" t-shirt into google....

kaiki said...

yes. nothing. el zilcho. nadda. nought.
cock all, frankly.

kaiki said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kaiki said...

oh. my. god.
where did you get that from ?
saddam, you may be a dead dictator but you'll alaways be the dead dictator of my heart, or something.
mine!

Anonymous said...

greatness in life breeds greatness from beyond death. as we know, the brave do not fear the grave, and I as ruler of all will easily defeat all with no items, slow, materia broken and possibly, just possibly, turned into a frog. This is a lesson all should learn.

kaiki said...

turned into a frog, with all powers lost, possibly asleep and turning slowly on the spot while glowing green...
...do things get any worse than that ?
yes. you could be petrified too.
bloody battle arena.